I saw an Instagram post the other day by author James Clear (Atomic Habits) that said this: "Major life changes - moving, starting a new job, ending a relationship, getting married, having kids, etc. - will often make life harder for the first 100 days before improving. Not always true, but it's a reminder that early struggle doesn't mean it was a bad choice."
Of course, I could relate wholeheartedly. It's been about 100 days since I stepped away from a job I loved (and in many ways, an entire family) into unemployment and moved into a new home in the midst of processing a new pregnancy. Needless to say, the past few months have been trying and unstable. 'Into the Unknown' from Frozen II became my theme song. I've wrestled with God, with my chronic desire for control, and with my bank account. Transition is hard. The unknown is hard. But it's also beautiful. Transition is a necessary and inevitable part of our lives. Over the last 100 days, I've taken quite a bit of time to pray and dream about what's next for me. It's been an eye-opening time. Silent retreats, spiritual directors, and many conversations with friends and mentors have helped to give me clarity along the way. Slowly but surely, it became clear where God was leading.
One of the things that came to the forefront as I processed things with God was my overwhelming desire to simply be with my daughter. I'm just obsessed with her (though I like to think it's mostly a healthy obsession?). I love being a mom and know I was made to do it - more than anything else. But I also knew I had work in the world and with the Church that I really felt called to do. I asked God to make a way for me to do all the things I felt burdened for. Work opportunities (and dream jobs) starting flooding in (for which I am exceedingly grateful), but I really had no idea what to do. I felt decision paralysis for, I think, the first time in my life. I realized that I couldn't say yes to every good thing, and even worse, that I was going to have to say some very difficult 'no's and 'not yet's. But I knew every no was a yes to something else - in this case, my family. After a lot of discernment and heart work, the path started to become clear. I asked God for a way to do good work in the world but be able to be with my family and keep them my priority. I'm excited to say that God led me to the Sugar Grove Free Methodist Church, where I'll be working as Associate Pastor. When I think about my family, I've always thought about this church (where I spent quite a bit of time as a kid). They are vibrant, real, unique, and making a difference in the community (and there are kids crawling everywhere!). I'll be working there part-time leading teams, teaching, writing, and loving people - in hopes of transforming the world. I'm also pumped to be doing some contracting work with the team at ROSIE Marketing and also the team at Ally Co. I'm thrilled to work with both of these organizations - they are each unique and creative and brilliant. ROSIE is a top-tier marketing-photo-video team based in Corry and I'll be working for them on web design, graphic design, and social media management in the future. Ally Co. is an ingenious consulting/venture studio based in Jamestown, where I'll get to help local organizations and businesses with marketing, communications, strategic planning, and leadership. The great thing about contracting is that I can have as little or as much work as I'd like! Lastly, I'm pressing on to finish up one last semester online this spring at Northeastern Seminary, getting my Master's of Arts in Transformational Leadership. How I was able to get this done in two years is still beyond me (I'm tired) - but the journey has been nothing short of incredible! When the work gets to be too much, I remind myself that only about 2% of the world is able to get this level of education. I'm so thankful for the opportunity, and God has truly provided every step of the way.
I could write for days about how each one of these roles is exactly an answer to prayer - but I think I'll save that for another day. Today, I'm just overwhelmed with the all the ways God has revealed Himself to me and my family. I've held on to Proverbs 16:9 tightly: "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Speaking of things that weren't in my plans - in just about 100 more days, we'll welcome a new baby girl into the world! And thus, another round of a hard 100 days will start all over again. Life is full of surprises and transitions. But I'm looking ahead to those 100 days with trust and excitement, knowing that God is already there, and that transition is indeed one of the most beautiful parts of life. :) ><> Sarah
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